Monday, January 02, 2006

Nam moi hanh phuc

Happy New Year 2006!

Nobody want to be alone on New Year Eve, that's why Time Square is full of fools, revelers, drunkards bearing cold for hours just to see the a small ball drops and confetti fly and to feel an innocent rush of hopes that a great brave new world is arriving, just as you wake up the next day.

I wake up the next day to go to work, although of course it's a slow news day, and the newspaper was thin. Which was a good thing. Last year, weren't they fill with heart-wrenching tsunami stories? I opened my newspaper to see a blank page, running only these small words: "Imagine all the people living life in peace." It's an ad paid by Yoko Lennon.

Dreamer. I am not the only one.

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Jumping into space

Did you know that the time extends as you move with extremely high speed? In other words, time is just a concept. If I was a physicist, maybe I could explain better. As I jumped from a 30 feet high cliff in James Town, Rhode Islands, into the deep blue sea, time extended. The very moments I flew into the space into the water, everything was flashing in my mind. A lot of thoughts, in just a few moments. The joy of seeing my friends. The streets of downtown Manhattan and the warmth of a tight embrace. The scare of the fall and the question: What next? Little brother Cuong said it would take probably one 1.5 second before I hit the water. I think it was 5 seconds, probably more. Anyway, for your information, the jump was just a crazy idea of having fun and overcoming your own fear. A group of naval students was jumping before me; it took some guys like 30 minutes before they can jump. I did it in a minute. Navy sucks. Woohoo! It was two weeks ago.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

This world has lost its glory

I went to a Bee Gees concert two days ago. Alone.

Nobody in the newsroom seemed to care about Bee Gees. And they are not that young -- most of us are in the late 20s or early 30s, they must all know those I started A Joke, How Deep is Your Love or Massachusetts hits.

At least Meeh, the quiet Thai guy who does graphic said he would bring his mom, and asked me to get a ticket. So I ended up sitting next to his mom, a short, also quiet woman. I did most of the talking in our conversation, she listened and smiled kindly. It was a decent crowd of mostly people in their middle 40s and 50s, not my generation's music. 5 minutes before the show began, the crowd stood up -- some VIP and entourage have just entered the auditorium. I didn't stand up. I told Meeh's mom I couldn't care less, and she seemed to feel the same way. "I don't care either," she said. "They always cause traffic." She is kind of cool.

I felt uncomforably lost -- but then what is my generation kind of music? I listen to almost everything, from Beethoven, Bach, Mozart to jazz to boy band pop and Britney Spear, from world music compilations to American hip hop and Eminem.

Bee Gees is not Bee Gees anymore, anyway. Only Robin Gibbs and a group of backup singers. Robin's voice has lost its strength, he himself looked like he would break down from exhaustion. But the crowd was nice to him. There was a weird kind of energy -- it's not the spontaneous burst you would see among young people in a concert, like the one I saw few day earlier in a rock concert. This energy comes from people who know youth is escaping them, wanting to get it back with the songs that remind them of those good old days, when they are young and foolish, their memories are probably full of I started a Joke and Stayin Alive...

"This world has lost its glory, it's time to start a brand new story now, my love."

That was all in my mind when I left the concert of the 60's. Let's start a brand new story now.

Friday, August 26, 2005

The taxi drivers I met...

Taxi drivers

I take taxi almost everyday. There are hundred thousands of taxis in this city, boorish, colorful, old, new and available. You can’t avoid them. For me it’s the only way to get around in Bangkok, although most of the time, you don’t seem to get anywhere. You stuck in the traffic, surrounded by cars, tuk tuks and motorbikes, and the air is thick with pollution. I have learned to live with it, and to make friend with drivers, most of those I might never meet again.

The gay driver

“You Singapore? Hong Kong? Japan? Malaysia?”

That’s always how the conversation starts. At first they would always think I am Thai, but after I have struggled to explain where I want to go, here come the questions.

“No, I am from Vietnam. Vietnamese,” I reply.

“Vietnam? Vietnam. Good. Vietnam friendly,” he says, and claps his hands together. I wish he would not repeat that again – the road is dangerously crowded, and I am in a rush.

“Yes, we are friendly.”

I would not bother to remind him how Thailand had helped the U.S. during the Vietnam War, or tell him how most people think his country is the uncle Tom of Southeast Asia. He probably has no clue, and after all, we are friendly countries.

“Show me your hand,” he requires, suddenly.

“What? You are a fortune teller?” I laugh.

The driver nods. He man is in his mid forty with thick salt-and-pepper hair, more salt than pepper. He processes a warm and easy grin; he can be a father. I show him my hands, as the car stop at the traffic.

“Good money. Good, good,” he announces, and want to further examine my right hand by touching it. I pull back.

“I am a lady man,” he laughs, as if to explain that he has no other intention. “I like men, don’t like women.”

Then he offers me a plastic bag full of a tropical type of fruit, those with brown skin and a mixture taste of sour and sweet.

“Forty baht, very cheap,” he says after I have said that I like the fruit. Not really.

“Madam beautiful,” he says, after observing me from his back mirror. I has got used to this kind of comment, too.

“Thank you,” I say.

“You are number two!” he laughs.

“Okay. So who is number one?”

“Me. Madam number two, I am number one,” he laughs.

“Now I believe you are a lady man,” I laughs, too. “How about Miss Thailand?”

He lets out an unapproving sound. The blazing morning sun light is now hitting my face. I want to move away from the car window, and to put my Ipod on, which is something I always do when I wish to retreat into my own shell. But for no reason I remain at the same spot. I gaze into the air through the car windows, thinking about my passport, which is waiting for me to pick it up at the U.S embassy. About the trip to New York, the Peter Pan buses, Port Authority, the crowded corner between 42nd street and 8 avenue, where I can picture myself striding through restaurants and stores, lonely but determined. I didn’t think I would end up in Bangkok, reporting on a totally strange country and talk to strangers everyday.

Now the gay taxi driver is talking about football. I ask him if he likes David Beckam.

“No, I like Owen,” he says. Owen is this cute English player who used to be with Liverpool but moved to Real Madrid.

“I used to like Raul,” I tell him.

“I like Raul too. Madam not like Raul. Raul is mine,” he protests.

This makes the middle-age man sound almost childish. “Alright, keep Raul for yourself,” I laugh.
I ask if he has a boyfriend. Yes, he says, I have a boyfriend, to sleep with. That’s nice. I tell him.

I really mean it. Most people need someone next to them. Sometimes, just to sleep with. A man once told me all he needed was someone to sleep next to, like a baby, and that’s the only way that he could sleep. He has called in the middle of a rainy Bangkok night, from his executive suite in Sukhothai Hotel, crying. “I can’t sleep,” he sobbed. “It’s still daytime in Paris, and I am used to staying up late. I just can’t sleep. It’s raining. I am sad. Why aren’t you here?”

I am sorry.

--------------------------------------------------------

The one who sings a song for me

This taxi driver's arms are skinny. He was eating a guave when I knocked his windows. He dutifully pushed the meter and turned the car. His skin is dark, his eyes are bright and childish. He is probably 21. There is a small screen near his wheel, which arouses my curious nature.

"I like karaoke," he explained, smiling shyly. His white teeth glowed. His speaks little english, but still, better than many of his fellow taxi drivers.

I was going back to the office after an interview just to find myself in the traffic again. It was only three in the afternoon. The boy asked me if I can sing. "No, but it would be nice if you sing a song for me," I told him.

There was no CD in the player, but the boy apparently was pondering if he should sing or not. His eyes met mine in the mirror, and I smiled encouragingly back. He said the song is in Thai and I would not understand. I said I just wanted to listen to the melody. He probably did not understan, but he was getting more comfortable now.

He comes from a small province near Isan. He has lived in Bangkok for eight year, first 4 years as a mechanic, then a taxi driver. He is the oldest son in a family with three children. He misses his family and his hometown, green without traffic. "Traffic is not good," he repeated again and again.

He is a smart and patient driver, but from the look of his eyes, I can tell he was frustrated inside and wanted to get back to his hometown, to drive his little girlfriend around on a motorbike. He asked me if I had three boyfiends. Haha. That's the funny idea these young chaps always come up with.

The car was finally getting to Khao San road. As I stopped talking, he suddenly started singing. His voice was soft and shy at first, but getting bolder and stronger. A Thai song, probably about love. It was very hot and humid outside, but inside the taxi, at least it was cool. I listened and smiled at him when our eyes met in the rear mirror, and when the song ended, the young driver laughed, clumsily.

"Bad taxi," he murmurs.

"No, very good taxi," I told him.

He probably didn't know that he made my afternoon much better than it would have been.

------------------------------------------------------------------
A taxi driver’s dream (This one appeared in the newspaper)

Karn Prasomhong thinks there is nothing special about his life to tell, but what else to do when you are stuck with two inquisitive passengers in the traffic on a rainy afternoon? The taxi driver, looking tense like any other driver in Bangkok, turns out to be friendly as he begins talking about his troublesome past, a broad grin relaxed his sunburn face.

The 32 year-old-driver and a father of two kids used to be a gamble, a drug addict, and a drug dealer. He went to jail for one year a half for selling drug, and for that his wife and two kids had left him for while. He has tried every odd job available for an uneducated person, from a sewer, to a motorbike driver, to a messenger, to delivery boy. He has been driving a taxi for 2 years, a job that earns him a decent income of 10,000 baht a month, just enough for to make the ends meet for a family of four.

But now Karn faces a difficult choice. He heard that because of high fuel prices, the taxi association is going to raise the minimum rate from 35 baht to 40 baht. He fears that discouraged customers will find another way to get around.

“I don’t know what to do.” He says. “Taxis are fighting with each other to get passengers. I am going to try first. If it didn’t work, I will have to try something else.”

For someone who has worked all kind of jobs to survive in a big city like Bangkok, the challenge seems to be minor. But still, it’s a big struggle to feed the family and achieve his modest goals, like many other people in this country, to raise the kids and give them a proper education.

“I wanted to get to ninth-grade, but my dad was so poor we couldn’t afford it,” Karn says. “I want my kids to have the education I didn’t have.”

He moved to Bangkok from Petchabun with his brother at sixth grade, and learned to sew. “Like any other country boy, something went good, something went bad,” he says. Life didn’t treat him so nice. He wanted to drive and has a car of his own, but he ended up stumbling from this job to that.

When working as a motorbike, he fell in love with a girl who worked at a painting house, one of his customers. But marriage couldn’t save him from trouble. At the age of 29, he went to prison for selling drug. His family left him for a while.

“It was a dark time. I was so scared I almost fell to the floor when they arrested me,” he recalled. Things get better in the prison when he started working a carpenter and sewing clothes for his inmates. Getting out of prison, he knew that he needed a stable career.

Now Karn takes the two kids to school and starts driving at 5 am in the morning, making sure he will earn at least 500 baht a day --enough to pay for car rent and gas. He describes his job as “so-so.”

Bangkok’s notorious congestion doesn’t bother him. “Traffic is normal thing, if there is no traffic, that’s strange.” He said. He thinks more about getting rich. Actually, he thinks about it everyday.

“But I know there is no chance that I am going to get rich, so I just do my job,” he says.

Karn likes to read newspapers and follow the news. He heard about a government’s plan to open parking places around public centers like shopping malls or market. He wants the government keep that promise.

And he plans to sell his rice-field his father left for him to buy his own car.

“I am going to work like this as long as I can,” he said. “I want my kids to finish school, so that they don’t have to suffer.”

Friday, July 08, 2005

for a weekend

I've been trying to find out a way to post my stories here -- in pdf files so at least you guys have an idea what i've been covering in this part of the world. The newspaper doesn't have a website yet, and you won't be able to find it in the IHT website. But never really have time to look around on the web, reporting and writing consume all my time, and for the little time left, I spend on partying and sleeping. Life is suddenly so superficial, but well, that's life.

The whole newsroom was watching news about London attacks yesterday as we wrote our own news -- terror in the southern Thailand and new plants opening in other parts of the country, and people say, it might happen here too. Who knows, the people in the south is really pissed off and they might bring they anger to Bangkok one of these days.

I had a little jolt in my stomach during my interview with the defiant tycoon the other day, knowing that our conversation might have been tapped and this government might have put an eye on me now, but believe me, it's damn exciting at the same time. Someone said it's time of living dangerously, here.

And time of living romantically, again? There are too many parties and phonies in this city, and you can't avoid them, because wherever you are, you have to be a part of the society somehow. But phoniness are so rampant you probably lose faith in people someday. When you meet something real, you don't dare to believe it's real.

And you can hurt someone badly, just because you refuse to believe in their love and passion. There are innocent souls out there.

Remember to remind me, from time to time...

Saturday, June 04, 2005

Bangkok

Bangkok. There is always a haze over the sky of the city, and a scent of jasmine mixing with fuel floating in the air. The sky always looks heavy as if it is going to fall off the city. In deed, it’s been falling off every afternoon since I am here, although it hasn’t crushed the city or cleaned the air a bit. Heavy clouds would hang over the ugly sky-scrapers, and the reflection of the city light on them resembles a scene in Star War. And then it is pouring rain. I always thought it’s kind of scary to live in a world or universe like that of Star Wars.

I live close to the river and take the boat to work every morning. It’s pretty much like the water bus in Venice, but here nothing is as fabulous as the Grand Canal. The boat is a fun part of the day. When it arrives, it rocks the pier and I always have this scary scenario in my mind that someday I will slip into the gap between the pier and the boat, together with my laptop computer, and try to rescue the computer before saving myself. Another strange thing: the water is almost black, but it is full of big fish. They tend to live near the bank, where a restaurant named In Love entertain their customers by feeding the fish. I am more cautious when ordering fish in Bangkok restaurant now.

Work. Too much, but it has been fun, Watching people in the evening gowns gathering early morning for Miss Universe, Grilling CEOs for their lame management. Learning to chill when being stuck in a traffic jam, which is commonplace here. Someone in my office said that we need to learn meditation in the cab. I have my ipod ;)

I have been missing the U.S, more than I expected. It’s strange how we change our perspectives over time. The adventures, new places and telling great stories still fascinate me, but I understand better now, what people say, home is where your heart is.

Happy birthday to me.

Friday, May 20, 2005

A woman's disappointment

Never mind the title... it's just a Cesaria Evora song that i am listening. I don't understand what she is singing about, it's probably in Portuguese. The music is beautiful. Her voice is deep and full, when she sings a joyful melody you want to dance, but when the music turns sad you cry. And it's mostly sad, sad, sad songs.
But it probably has nothing to do with what is in my mind now.
My dear friend Rebeca said, things happen for a reason...